I turn 40 soon. How the fuck did that happen? I'm quite sure I was only 25 not that long ago. I find myself thinking 'Nah, it can't be true, I've got the years mixed up or something!' ( Haha, yes that is a stretch! ) then my 20 year old son comes home and snaps me back to reality. The hands of time are ticking away and the grey hairs are getting greyer no matter how many times I tell myself they're just wisdom glitter.
As much as part of me rebels and blanches at the thought of ageing and reaching this particular milestone, another part welcomes it. Somehow it feels like a fresh start or a nice new blank chapter of my life. This feeling has increased the closer I get to D Day.
I realised recently that this year for me in Tarot terms is a 'Judgement' year. Aha! Well that explains a lot. The Judgement card is all about rebirth and regeneration. It asks us to really think about what we want. What motivates us? What is our purpose or calling? What really sings to our souls?
I feel at the moment as though I am being called to action. The RWS image of the Angel blowing the trumpet to call everyone to Judgement Day comes to mind here. There is a restlessness brewing deep in my bones. Do I want to spend the next 10 years of my life the same way as I have the last? Hell no!
The last 10 years have had their good points, like getting married, but also some really bad ones. My health has gone down hill and I've tiptoed around what to do about it. I've procrastinated on and made excuses for not doing a lot of things. I've not lived life to my fullest potential.
This upcoming birthday and the Judgement card are, I feel, the Universes way of telling me 'Sandra, it's time to shit or get off the pot, I'm not messing about now! '
I have a choice to make, do I embrace this energy and begin to create a newer, improved life for myself? Or do I ignore the call and carry on as I am? I'm not going to get many more chance to start over. I choose to follow the trumpet call.
I asked my cards how I can best work with this Judgement energy in the coming months. As I shuffled, 3 card positions popped into my head :
Reassess, Release and Renew.
Knowing better than to argue with my deck or my guides, I went with it.
This is the Thelema Tarot, the deck I most often use for really straight answers.
Reassess: What do I need to re evaluate this year? Justice.
I need to take a look at my values and what I feel I deserve from life. What am I contributing to my own karma? The law of cause and effect comes to mind also. How can I begin to effect change in my life? I need to look at my past mistakes and learn from them, that is what they are there for after all.
Release : What do I need to leave behind in my 30's? Page of Wands.
My lack of direction! This Page to me is enthusiastic, but scattered. He does not know quite where to stick that wand. I can be very much like that, not knowing where to focus my energy first. I need to leave this behind along with my tendency to lose motivation when things don't happen quickly enough for my liking.
Renew : How can I best embrace the renewing qualities of Judgement? King of Pentacles.
The King here seems to be telling me to take a reality check. Head out of the clouds , feet on the ground. I also feel I need to take some practical steps to take charge of my health here. That would certainly be renewing!
What is your card for this year ahead? Do you have any plans for working with it?